What can I say about this show that hasn’t already been said? Hilarious, profound and at times deeply unsettling, The Vagina Monologues challenged my ideas about what it means to be a fully realized human being. Is it possible for a single evening to fundamentally change the identity of a man? Before seeing The Vagina Monologues, there was an aspect of humanity that I had, until now, written off entirely as one-dimensional and only fit to satisfy. I was shown the error of my ways, and in such a creative...

Throwing tradition to the wind, the producers of Ubiquitous They Sketch have reformatted their entire show, and the result is nothing short of brilliant. The experimental show, titled Ubiquitous They Presents: Poopy Pidgins  SHOW CANCELED was directed by no one, starred nobody, and was produced by Student Theater Productions. The intense comedic action, in many ways a tribute to Andy Kaufman’s anti-comedy acts and Samuel Beckett’s Theatre of the Absurd, played out entirely in the mind of the audience, which very surprisingly consisted solely of myself. One would have thought...

We PSO leaders follow one unbreakable rule: Leave no trace. This rule is easy for us to follow, but so much of the world is uneducated in such matters. Ask yourself, “How many times have I been stuck in the outdoors and not known exactly how to clean up after myself?” Did you say, “So many?”  It’s a common problem, I know. But don’t worry, if you follow the steps that I lay out in this article, you’ll be able to see that leaving no trace in the wild is...

In a move sure to upset NATO leaders, Libya’s transitional congress has turned its back on Western-style democracy and placed government power in the hands of another dictator. A statement made by Mohamed Mohamed, spokesmen for the National Transitional Council, outlined Libya’s new direction. “We will never forget the atrocities committed against the Libyan people under the oppressive regime of Muammar Qaddafi,” Mohamed said. “However, an insane dictatorship is an intrinsic part of Libyan cultural heritage,” continued Mohamed, “and we refuse to turn our backs on our past and placate...

Through secret administration cables made public on the whistle-blowing website Loggerleaks, The Trail has been made aware of a program designed to encourage female athletes of the University of Puget Sound to mate with the vastly superior male athletes from visiting teams. What has been named “Operation Conjunction Junction” in leaked cables is likely the combined work of the administration and the Eugenics department. It is hoped that the offspring of these encounters will combine the superior athletic abilities shown by our women’s and by the visiting men’s athletic teams;...

How little do you know about your man’s body? Not a lot, huh? The average college male’s body is an enigmatic labyrinth of erogenous zones and pleasure complexes that only the most experienced adventurers should ever attempt to pleasure alone. Fortunately, after years of research and experimentation on my own body I have discovered the ten best ways to please a man. Be warned, the road ahead is difficult and treacherous, but once you get there you’ll surely find that summiting the venerable Mount Orgasm was worth the effort. So...

Students, We write today to address a significant issue that has developed on campus regarding your administration’s fundamental misunderstanding of the laws of supply and demand, as well as its serious deficiencies in fourth grade mathematics. With high frequency, bicycles were getting locked to the emergency bike racks (henceforth referred to as “hand railings”) around campus. While it may seem that reconstruction of the library entrance over the summer would have given Facilities ample opportunity to provide a sufficient number of bike racks, I can assure you that was not...