Pressing the button in your b-hole: Finding the prostate

The Happy Trail

By Emma Holmes

Until now, the prostate had been a bit of a myth to me. What does it do? Why does it need to be checked? Do I have one? After some extensive research on the anatomical, medical and sexual nature of the prostate, I present you with Prostate 101.

What is the prostate? The prostate is a muscular gland located between the bladder and the rectum in people with penile anatomy. It exists to secrete a milky-white alkaline (basic) substance that contributes to the final ejaculate fluid. The secretions work to balance out both the penis’ urethra and the vagina’s acidity and produce optimal conditions for sperm survival. The prostate also contains smooth muscles that force this fluid into the urethra just before ejaculation. Stimulating the prostate via anal penetration can create immense pleasure and lead to stronger orgasms.

As people with penile anatomy age, their prostate expands from the size of a golf ball in their 20s to the size of a lemon around 60, according to an online article by Eden Fantasys. As it grows, the prostate constrains the urethra and can make urination difficult. Additionally, the prostate is prone to cancerous growths, thus people with prostates over the age of 50 should regularly schedule or perform prostate examinations. We’ll get to that how-to in a second.

Just because there’s not a prostate up your rectum, though, doesn’t mean there’s nothing to explore down there. Sometimes referred to as the mythical “G-spot, or Grafenburg spot,” the paraurethral sponge two to three inches into the vagina can be indirectly stimulated through anal penetration, so stay tuned.

Whether you want to find your prostate for business (medical exam) or pleasure (sexy reasons), the key to anal penetration is to stay relaxed and sanitary. The anus has two muscular sphincters: external and internal. Humans can voluntarily expand/contract the external sphincter, but the internal one is less easily swayed. Like any muscle, it will relax with warm, gentle movement. It’s a good idea to take a warm bath before anal penetration; it’ll warm up your muscles and your sex drive. Next, make sure anything potentially going into you or your partner is washed and disinfected with a neutral soap. If fingers are on the menu, wash them thoroughly and cut your fingernails. Feel free to use gloves or a condom as a sanitary, protective layer.

All bodies are different, so play around and find a position that’s most comfortable for you. If you’re alone, try lying on your back with your knees bent. If you’re with a partner, try going on all fours or standing and bending over. Apply lube to your fingers/anus and slowly start massaging the external sphincter. Do not simply stick your cold, lubed-up latex finger in your butt! You deserve better.

As you and your external sphincter relax, slide a single finger into your rectum and slowly start massaging the internal sphincter. Once it, too, relaxes, curve your finger upwards; as if you’re saying “Come hither” to your prostate. It should feel like, and I apologize for this comparison, a squishy walnut. If you just want to know where it is, stop reading. If you want to experience a sexual revelation, continue.

Start slowly massaging the prostate with gently increasing pressure. Play with what feels good or different. If you have a vagina, you won’t feel the squishy walnut, but continued anal penetration can stimulate the G-spot. Every person’s anatomy is unique, so give yourself time and patience to find what feels right for you and in what combination. You can dive into this solo, or explore it with a partner. I know this subject comes with a lot of socialized discomfort, so please remember that you never have to participate in a sexual act that makes you uncomfortable. However, if you are feeling ready and curious about the squishy walnut, now you can introduce yourself.

One thought on “Pressing the button in your b-hole: Finding the prostate

  • You write: “As people with penile anatomy age, their prostate expands from the size of a golf ball in their 20s to the size of a lemon around 60, according to an online article by Eden Fantasys.”
    Prostrates do not continue to grow or expand as a matter of course. A large percentage of men get BPH, benign prostatic hyperplasia, which is essentially a swollen prostate. But not all men. And those with BPH can often find relief with prostate massage.

    I would respectfully suggest that Eden Fantasys is not an accurate source for prostate information.

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