By Emma Holmes
Chill out. Imperfection is sexy. The first step to talking dirty, like to almost anything, is to understand that you will mess up. You’ll mumble or sneeze or say something you saw in your first R-rated movie. If you can move beyond the fear that those things will happen, then you’ll ditch inhibition and relax (physically and mentally) into the sexual experience.
The next step to talking dirty is, quite literally, self-explanatory. Moan, laugh, speak and emote; basically, start talking! Let your partner know what you’re experiencing. Use your sight, touch, taste and smell to express your pleasure. One common misconception about dirty talk is that it should be tailored to your partner. Don’t take away from both your experiences by feeling pressure to perform. If you’re not experiencing moan-worthy pleasure, then direct or compliment your partner. “I love it when you touch me there,” or “you look so hot right now” can go a long way towards making both of you more comfortable (and more turned on).
Finally, as you grow more comfortable with your partner (and yourself), don’t shy away from exploring what’s sexy for you. If talking dirty crosses into role-play (“I want you to pretend to be fixing the door”), or into bondage (“I want you to tie me up”), then that’s great. If it feels weird to talk more than necessary (establishing consent) during sex, then leave it alone! There’s no right or wrong way to have sex, as long as all parties are continuously and enthusiastically on board.