With the holiday season in full swing, I wanted to bestow upon you, dear readers, the gift that keeps on giving. With a nod to High Fidelity, I thought that a “Top Five” list would be the perfect choice.
However, I was left with the question: top five what? I thought about making a list like “Best Songs to Listen to when Wrapping Gifts” or “Top Five Holiday Jams that Make us Miss ‘The OC’.”
But then it dawned on me that as much as you would all like to reminisce about Seth Cohen’s Chrismukkah, there is a list that would be far more useful to liberal arts students.
On that note, allow me to present my official 2011 “Top Five ‘Frisky Finals Week’ Songs.” When you feel the inevitable mental breakdown set in, don’t lock yourself in a study room and cry. Give these tunes a spin and spread some holiday cheer in the bedroom instead!
Now put that thesis away and get naughty. Believe me, Santa will understand.
1. Lana Del Rey—“Diet Mtn Dew”
Lana Del Rey is one of the best pop stars of 2011 that you’ve never heard of. Her mysterious persona, which hints at trailer park glamour queen, combined with a husky purr brings Del Rey to the forefront of baby-making music. Though her LP won’t hit the shelves until January 2012, a few songs have been released, and let’s just say that no one can accuse Del Rey of being anything less than a sultry starlet, with a bite.
It was a difficult decision, but in the end, “Diet Mtn Dew” won out simply because it glorifies one of the most popular, yet vile, places to get freaky: the car. Del Rey’s lyrics are hardly complicated so when she croons, “Let’s take Jesus off the dashboard, got enough on his mind, we both know just what we’re here for, saved too many times,” we know exactly what she’s talking about.
2. Julian Plenti—“Unwind”
Understandably so, tensions run high during finals week. When a caffeine overdose has got you snapping at your sweetheart, turn to make-up sex and Julian Plenti to heal emotional wounds. After all, your partner had nothing to do with the library’s failing printers.
Interpol lead vocalist Plenti flies solo on rock-pop track “Unwind.” The effectively simplistic lyrics, steady drum beat and soaring melodies will have you and your loved one spooning in no time. Like a sexy apology on repeat, Plenti howls, “ I see your face and I let you own me, I see your face and I let you unwind,” over and over again until it’s impossible to remember why you were angry in the first place.
3. Avi Buffalo—“What’s In It For?”
For those of you in ambiguously labeled relationships, this track is for you. If you are sleeping with someone who is “just a friend, no strings attached—but if they wanted to date—but you’re just friends—but they better call you on Friday night—if they sleep with some else they’re dead—but we’re just friends,” then play this tune repeatedly for those moments when you get extra friendly with your special “friend.”
It’s really a serious song that questions the meaning of a romantic relationship. However, soprano vocals and jangly melodies will make you feel like you’re having a romp in a field of daisies.
4. Wilco—“I am Trying to Break your Heart”
Yankee Hotel Foxtrot is the quintessential makeout album for any self respecting rock fan. “I am Trying to Break your Heart” tells the story of a couple that is falling apart. The low tempo and metaphors like, “let’s forget about the tongue-tied lightning, let’s undress just like cross-eyed strangers,” really express the desperation the couple must be feeling knowing that they could be having their last intimate experience together.
The tragedy of a failing relationship, combined with Jeff Tweedy’s sexy yet disconnected vocals, somehow becomes a turn-on. There is great depth and passion on this track and if you’re the type who doesn’t have sex, you make love, then this song is a must-listen.
5. Sonic Youth—“Superstar”
Sonic Youth has produced some spectacular covers; however, on the sexy scale none come close to their rendition of “Superstar.” Though The Carpenters sang it first, nothing sends shivers down the spine like Thurston Moore half whispering, “What to say, to make you come again, come back to me again.”
Sonic Youth takes a song about groupie-rock star love and turns it into a body swaying, strip tease inducing, power jam. Perfect for any sexual escapade, including those solo trips to Loveland, “Superstar” slips into the number five slot with a bullet.